Wedding Planning 101: What to Do First After Getting Engaged (A Planner’s Expert Guide)

Written By Andrea Davis

You’re engaged—congratulations! But before you dive into dress shopping or venue tours, stop. As a wedding planner, I’ve seen too many couples rush into decisions they later regret. Here’s exactly where to start—with pro-level strategy—so you can plan a wedding that’s intentional, stress-free, and truly yours.

Engaged couple showing off ring

The Strategic First Steps Every Engaged Couple Should Take (Before Anything Else)

1. Pause & Protect Your Joy (Yes, Really)

Most couples skip this—and later wish they’d savored the moment.
✅ Do This:

  • Delay announcements if you want privacy (you don’t owe anyone immediate updates!).

  • Journal your vision before outside opinions flood in. Ask: What does our ideal celebration feel like?

  • Book an engagement shoot early—these photos become save-the-dates, guestbook extras, and heirlooms.

🚨 Planner’s Warning: Social media pressure can distort your vision. Unfollow wedding accounts that spark comparison, not inspiration.

Newly Married Couple in Ellicott City

2. Set a REALISTIC Budget (Not a Pinterest Dream Budget)

Most online “average wedding cost” guides are wildly inaccurate. Here’s how to get real:
✅ Do This:

  • Review bank accounts + contributions (families often offer help after you’ve set a plan).

  • Prioritize 3 non-negotiables (e.g., photography, food, venue). Sacrifice the rest.

  • Factor in hidden costs (like alterations, vendor meals, and overtime fees).

📊 Pro Insight: In the DMV, full-service weddings average $45K–80K, but microwedding packages can start at $15K. I help clients allocate smartly—let’s talk.

3. Draft a Working Guest List (It’s Not Set in Stone)

Your headcount impacts venue options, budget, and vibe more than anything else.
✅ Do This:

  • Start with tiers:

    • Tier 1: Must-invite (immediate family, best friends).

    • Tier 2: Want there (extended family, close colleagues).

    • Tier 3: Nice if possible (acquaintances, +1s).

  • Venue capacity = your max. No exceptions unless you love chaos.

💡 Planner’s Secret: A 20% “soft no” buffer saves stress when declines roll in.

Finance Tracker for Wedding Planning

4. Secure Your Date & Venue (Before They’re Gone)

Top venues book 12–18 months out in the DMV. Here’s how to lock yours:
✅ Do This:

  • Research off-peak discounts (January weddings can save 30%).

  • Ask about “all-inclusive” venues (like hotels)—they simplify logistics.

  • Read contracts carefully (I review these for clients to avoid pitfalls).

📍 DMV Spotlight: Love historic charm? The Georgetown Library books fast. Prefer modern? The Line Hotel DC has killer skyline views.

5. Hire a Planner Now (Not Later)

Many couples wait until they’re overwhelmed—big mistake.
✅ Do This:

  • Book a planner before vendors (we negotiate better rates and access exclusives).

  • Consider partial planning if DIY-ing (I offer month-of coordination to rescue stressed couples).

📞 Case Study: My client Sarah thought she could DIY—until realizing she’d overlooked permits for her backyard wedding. We salvaged it, but earlier help = smoother process.

Andrea with her Client for a Spring Wedding

The Biggest Mistake Newly Engaged Couples Make

Skipping the “why.” Before choosing colors or cakes, ask:

  • What’s the purpose of this celebration? (Hint: It’s not Instagram.)

  • How do we want guests to feel?

  • What will matter to us in 10 years?

(Need help defining your vision? Grab my free Wedding Intentions Guide here.)

Your Next Step

Feeling clearer? If you’re ready to plan strategically (and skip the rookie mistakes), let’s talk.

📅 Book a Complimentary Planning Session
🔍 Explore My DMV Wedding Planning Services

Andrea Davis
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